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“I have friends who take every woman on the same date. Another breaks out his profession way too early in conversation.There’s this one who gets extremely drunk on dates, always slurring.Has anyone else experienced the horrible dating scene in DC?Best to look in the suburbs or maybe even the Baltimore area right up the highway.Is there more or less promiscuity in DC compared to other places?Is there a "hook-up" culture or is it more conservative, reserved, buttoned-up atmosphere when it comes to mingling with the opposite sex, flirting, dating etc? This one is really difficult to answer; I'm probably the wrong person to even try although I was single in DC at that age. There are the people who want to actually date - and go to Wolf Trap, Kennedy Center, restaurants, etc.

They have tried online dating, blind dates, and anything else that you can think of but have not been able to find anyone. It seems like if you don't have a great job with power and status then forget about finding anyone decent.

C., author Amanda Hess decided to move to Los Angeles in hopes of finding a better dating scene. Are you blaming your town for your dating troubles? I live in DC and I agree with this line from the article “One friend in D. told me that the scene can be so claustrophobic that dating online means weeding through a selection of coworkers, friends, and friends’ exes.” The network in DC is so small it can feel incestuous at times.

She was under the impression that Los Angeles is one of America’s “Best Cities for Singles.” “But between dark basement beers during my last month in Washington,” she writes, “my friends presented me a phantasmagoria of single life in L. In Chicago, Charlotte, Des Moines, Boise, and Seattle. I always joke when you break up with someone in DC, it better me amicable, b/c you will see your ex again.

My thought, obviously, is that if Lisa is as coldhearted and as single-minded about getting ahead as you describe, you should have discerned some clue that something was “off” between the two of you rather than being as blindsided as you say you were. Is it possible that you were so excited simply to be in a relationship that you didn’t pay much attention to the actual person with whom you were getting involved?

You would do very well to figure out why you missed any important signs that the two of you were not a great fit. It says a lot about your solidity that you aren’t letting Lisa’s rejection undermine your own respect for your career choice or lead you to doubt your worth. All identifying information has been changed for reasons of confidentiality.