Tips on writing online dating emails

You won’t get anywhere if don’t put yourself out there. Don’t: reveal too much too quickly Nobody wants to trawl through an essay on your life, either in your profile or via those early emails.

If you’re match isn’t interested, they either won’t respond or will send you a polite ‘Thanks, but no thanks.’ You can’t take it too personally – she or he hasn’t met you in the flesh! The key is to be open and friendly while still maintaining a bit of mystery.

Remember, that’s why she wrote it – because she wants you to get to know her, not because she wants to be told for the umpteenth time that she’s hot. NOT the thing you like the most, NOT the thing you find most attractive, NOT the thing you have in common. It might be how she doesn’t know how to program her Ti Vo. Yes, you think it’s cool that she also likes Robert De Niro movies and skiing in Vail. The sillier and more over-the-top your email, the funnier it’ll be.

Men who treat women as unique and interesting individuals stand a much greater shot of receiving a response. The most interesting tidbit in her profile is the thing that sounds like it couldn’t have been written by anybody else in the world. Whatever it is, take her quirky tidbit and turn it into your pickup line. The most effective way to catch someone’s attention in an initial email is with fiction. Because the truth, as we’ve established, is boring. But does any of that sound like a good pickup line to you? A good joke doesn’t require an explanation – it’s obviously a joke.

It's presumptuous to list a bunch of unrequested information about yourself in your message, because doing so assumes that this person already thinks of you as a candidate.

Instead, as with good tip #5, use the message to ask about him/her.

If your joke isn't funny to that person, it's either a) not funny at all, or b) not funny to him/her. In the middle of this city you're walking around in, surrounded by thousands and millions of people walking, you fear you might be the only one who likes walking?The thing is, even if she’s interesting, she most likely wrote a whole bunch of clichés in her profile: “I’m nice, smart, kind, warm, funny, honest and family-oriented. I’m looking for my best friend, lover and partner in crime for a lifetime of love and laughter.” (Scary how easy it is to approximate the typical online dating profile, isn’t it? Even a specific response like “I noticed you enjoy biking. For example, if you’re writing to the foot model, you might say: Let’s drink to our fashion careers, Evan Sure, it’s a little goofy, but people actually respond to this stuff. Because it’s different, it’s audacious and, in a strange way, it’s kind of smart. It’s not an idle compliment or a generic, “Ooh, look what we have in common” line. Start your comment in the subject heading of the email, like this… Talk to you soon, Evan If these kinds of emails don’t work for you, no problem. Just keep in mind that the confidence it takes to write an email like that is compelling.It’s a joke and, as we all know, people like people who make them laugh. I can fix your computer, landscape your backyard and probably even hotwire your car, but, for some reason, Ti Vo programming seems to elude me as well. Playing it safe is fine, but if an attractive person has dozens, if not hundreds, of options, you need to shake things up a little bit to break through the clutter. Interesting piece, which I’ll have to parse at length when I have the time…but it leads me to throw out a theory I’ve been kicking around.Accept that dating online will involve some chasing.If you find someone who catches your eye, send an icebreaker or a friendly email.