Months later, a sudden and unexpected medical problem found Michaels close to death.Unable to take care of her children while she was hospitalized, she risked losing custody of them permanently.Sixteen years and three children into her marriage, Nancy Michaels' husband dealt her the blow of a lifetime.Out of the blue, he told her he wanted a divorce -- but he wouldn't tell her or their kids why he was leaving.Now, less than four years later, with her health back, Michaels has risen from the depths of emotional despair brought on by the blow of an unexpected divorce, regained primary custody of her children, bought a house of her own, and begun a web site exclusively for women over 40 going through divorce.
The joint goal should be to raise the children to be productive adults who can have significant relationships as an adult.Moving on with your life may seem insurmountable, but there is hope. However, time does lessen the sting, and with time, the flood of memories and regrets will happen less and less often. If they were mutual friends with your ex-spouse, they may be more loyal to him or her than you. Give yourself a time limit on your grief, and then make a pact with yourself that you won’t let yourself dwell on the negative feelings any longer. When you’ve been part of a couple, chances are many of the choices made in the relationship, such as where to eat or where to go on vacation, were not your choices but your spouses. Have you been stuck in a career that didn’t fulfill you? Some solitude can be good for all of us as a time of reflection and reorganization of priorities.9. Be careful to take some time to get yourself grounded again before trying to tackle another relationship.You will one day appreciate the pain for what it was…an opportunity to learn and grow.2. When a spouse files for divorce, your self-esteem can take a beating. Just because you are not able to make the relationship work with that one person doesn’t mean you can’t move on and find a loving relationship. This is the time to be good to yourself, not beat yourself up. It is likely, though; that you have some true friends you can reach out to at this time. Reach back in your memory to your life before that relationship. Were there places you wanted to go or new things you wanted to try? Take down old picture albums of the marriage, play “your” songs. Having a daily pity party is good in the beginning of your adjustment period, but you need to set a limit on it.6. Now may be the perfect time to look at other options. There are many “die-hard singles” who really enjoy living alone. Rebound relationships are never good for either person involved.You've found yourself the recipient of an unwanted divorce.Your spouse may have just walked out, or left you for another man/other woman.