I don’t know about you, but for this girl, that’s tough stuff. It is this: Catholic men take discernment seriously.They discern if and how to pursue you, how to be in relationship with you, and if they feel called to marry you.Whenever you are involved with someone who has a past of any kind, in this case a past marriage, you are taking on all the people involved as well, and the history.How successfully you deal with it depends on many factors. You must consider all the factors and determine if you can accept them.We would like to think there are no victims and no one is at fault, and that the people involved should just be able to peacefully move on, but that is not the reality.The reality is you are in a drama that probably will never end.Just because you are in love with someone does not mean you can (or should) proceed with that person toward marriage.It is false interpretation of true marital love to believe that the feelings of being “in love” are what matters the most, and must discount all other factors, no matter how difficult or questionable. Sometimes, despite what we want and how we feel, the best thing for the other is that the relationship NOT proceed further.
As always, canon law follows theology, and the two are consistent, for they can never contradict each other.
There’s nothing quite as fun as watching a date come to a grinding halt when you explain that not only are you Catholic, you’re really Catholic.
And while you may not actually wear a chastity belt, you might as well because, by golly, you are waiting until marriage! Nothing puts the breaks on burgeoning new romance quite like those conversations will.
The assumption is that the couple is in good faith and their decision is to be honored.
We believe that a commitment of vows creates a reality and is to be respected.